The Jerry Greaney Band (formerly Southern Comfort). If you’re an idiot or a trademark lawyer, you mistook them for a bottle of whiskey. Photo by Mike Beitchman.

About a month ago, the Bay Ridge band formerly known as The Southern Comfort Band changed its name under relentless pressure from the liqueur maker’s lawyers. Long-time readers of BK Southie know my feelings toward trademark lawyers (they suck suck suck and should sue themselves for being such parasitic drags on Western society). There’s just no way that Southern Comfort Company was in the right here. But what’s a local band to do when one of the Omnicorps of the world picks a fight with them? Enter the newly-rechristened Jerry Greaney Band.

Guitarist Eddie Sarkis sent the above photo to Southern Comfort’s bloodthirsty mercenaries lawyers to prove that the band had changed their name. Sadly, it looks like they are still every bit the Lifetime Achievement Douchebags we originally thought them to be. Quote the lawyers:

On a related note, the image included in your most recent email depicted a group of people standing in front of what we assume is the new band banner. The banner appears to be a knock-off of the Jack Daniel’s whiskey bottle label. In addition to representing Southern Comfort Properties, Inc., we also represent Jack Daniel’s Properties, Inc. (“JDPI”), the worldwide owner of the JACK DANIEL’S trademarks and the Jack Daniel’s bottle trade dress. You may not have realized that your use of this design constitutes an infringement of our client’s rights and must also be discontinued.

Please confirm that you will discontinue all use of this design on the banner and elsewhere immediately. If we do not receive such confirmation, we will have no choice but to recommend to JDPI that it consider further action to protect its rights. We hope that will not be necessary.

It all makes sense to me now. Here, all this time, I thought these were staff lawyers (like the ones I used to deal with at Seagram Americas) trying to (1) fill time in between real legal issues, (2) maybe score a free web site domain name for their troubles, and (3) no, really, they need to look busy, or else the department head is going to start thinking they can save on headcount.

Knowing that this is an outside law firm makes it clear to me that this is a racket for billable hours. No more, no less. In recommending legal action to Jack Daniels, they have no concern for protecting their client’s interests, only in bilking them for a few more shekels.

P.S. The Jerry Greaney Band will be at the Bally Bunion (3rd Avenue @ 95th Street), next Friday, April 23. 10pm. Officially designated as a Trademark-Lawyer-Free Zone.

The Bally Bunion Bar on 95th Street in Bay Ridge will be playing host to the Ridge’s popular two-headed cover band, Head Over Heels and the Southern Comfort Band. From the Southern Comfort web site:

HEAD OVER HEELS was started almost 30 years ago. It has evolved into The Southern Comfort Band (a.k.a. Head Over the Hill). HEAD OVER HEELS has evolved into a premier PARTY and WEDDING Band. The Southern Comfort Band (a.k.a. Head Over The Hill) is a way for us to play the music that started it all. We are now taking it back to where it all started. In the South. (South Brooklyn) Together, we are Bay Ridge’s longest running Band.

The fun starts tonight at 10pm.