A couple of nights ago, I commented on a Facebook thread started by Sheepshead Bites, regarding media coverage of the guns bust in Gravesend over the weekend:

You know which hawt lesbian schoolteachers I mean. James Madison High School (Midwood, Brooklyn) teachers Alini Brito and Cindy Mauro, accused of getting it on in an empty classroom while the schoolkids were in an assembly.

Alini Brito (left) and Cindy Mauro (right). Photo: NY Daily News

Who doesn’t remember these two? Indeed, this is what was going through my mind at the time.

Dayum. Now why didn’t any of MY schoolteachers look like that?

Seriously. My son is only in second grade, and he’s already had three more attractive teachers than I had through twelve. I’m seriously jealous.

One of the beautiful things about New York is, if you don’t like the news, wait ten minutes.

‘Horndog High’ teachers Alini Brito, Cindy Mauro to be charged for alleged lesbian tryst (NY Daily News)

Read more »

Here’s a great story I was told from a mother who grew up in Queens in a Brazilian household, and is now raising a family in the Maryland suburbs.

	We would like your daughter to take ESL again this year.
	Why?
	(nervously) Well, it’s because of her Portuguese.
	That’s stupid.
	I’m sorry?
	I speak Portuguese.
	Yes.
	My daughter doesn’t speak Portuguese.
	Ah…
	You made her take ESL last year, but she hardly spoke any Portuguese then, either.
	Yes, but…
	She doesn’t speak any Portuguese at all anymore.
	Yes, I understand. Uh, I’m not quite sure how to put this.
	Put what?
	The thing with your daughter… is… well, your daughter…
	What is it about my daughter?
	The problem with your daughter, you see, is that she talks, …
	She talks what?
	She talks with a Brooklyn accent.
	…!

Today is the first day of school in NYC. Which means, among other things, I do not have the time to write anything particularly useful, interesting, or witty. See you tomorrow, folks!

P.S. To the braniac in the West Wing who scheduled President Obama’s speech to school children yesterday - the day before the largest school system in the country opened it’s doors – you get detention.

First off – I’d like to start calling this thing Pig Flu instead of Swine Flu. Swine Flu sounds more ominous than Pig Flu, and needlessly so. The word swine has a much stronger negative connotation than pig. Bernie Madoff is swine. That cabbie who tried to swindle you for an extra twenty that night you were super-plastered is swine. But pigs?

(photo credit: Kevin Walsh)

How cute is that piggy? How can that little guy do anything to harm me? (P.S. I’m sure that’s turkey sausage he’s about to chow down on. Kosher diet.)

So, we’ve already seen school closures in Marine Park, Bensonhurst, and elsewhere in the city due to pig flu cases. Here’s a question for the Brooklyn parents – what do you think about that? Do you think that closures with such a small percentage of cases is a necessary precaution? The scientific community seems to think so. But we don’t do that for season flu. What’s up with that?

Trick question.

You know the schools these days. Kids get sent home – and to the doctor – for the most trivial of symptoms. If someone even thinks the words “swine flu” in your child’s school, they’re shutting it down. It’s a matter of when the Great Pumpkin is coming, Sally, not if.

So the real question is: when your child’s school closes, are you ready for it? Do you know who will be staying home with the kids? Can you stay home from work? Can a relative do it?

Are you going to wait until the day it happens to make your plans, or are you going to do it right now?

I’m just sayin’.

Related: CDC H1N1 Flu General Information

Updated: Just to be clear, I am not doubting the body of evidence from the scientific community that H1N1 poses a threat to the general population. I’m trying to drive home the point that the DOE doesn’t really exercise any sort of judgment. They always go for the CYA course of action to the point of being ridiculous about it.