That didn’t take long – the ink was barely dry on my story about the naming rights on the Cyclones stadium, and the team totally ignored my suggestions and sold the naming rights to a credit union. Not a bank, a credit union. The Chases and the Future Chases of the world are reported to be “disappointed.”

The Municipal Credit Union – the City’s largest credit union – will be picking up the tab that Keyspan Energy/National Grid is leaving behind, and the stadium will become MCU Park. The Brooklyn Paper reports:

“MCU and the Cyclones are a great fit,” said Cyclones General Manager Steve Cohen. “All of their members are workers like firefighters and cops — and that really matches our fan base.”

Later, he added, “Hey, at least we’re not selling out to TARPBank like the parent club, right?” (No, I’m kidding, he didn’t really say that.)

Brooklyn Union Gas Stadium is no more: last week, the Brooklyn Cyclones and Brooklyn Union Gas Keyspan Energy National Grid announced last week that the two parties would bring their stadium naming rights partnership to an end. The Keyspan name has stayed up on the stadium, even after UK-based National Grid bought out the Brooklyn HQ’d gas utility.

I don’t know about you, but I’m a little weary of all of these stadiums changing their names every time the economy twitches a little. Like this year’s Super Bowl being played in Joe Robbie Stadium Pro Player Stadium I don’t even remember what they’re calling it now.

So to help the Cyclones come up with a new stadium name that will stand the test of time, I have submitted these five suggestions.

5. Chase Bank Field – Since any bank that buys the naming rights will eventually be bought up by Chase anyway, lets just save ourselves the merger baby steps and skip right to the endgame. Chase Bank Field will also be the name of the baseball stadium built across the street.

4. The House That Rudy Built – Technically, this could also be the name of the Staten Island Yankees stadium. But Richmond County Bank currently holds the naming rights there – see #5.

3. Ebbets Field – Because I’m a 32-year-old Brooklyn baseball fan and I’m still living 53 years in the past. I’m looking forward to explaining to my son the purpose of Burn Walter O’Malley In Effigy Night.

2. The Tidy Bowl – As opposed to the other bowls on the Rabbit’s Isle, which are most decidedly NOT tidy.

1. Brooklyn Shore – Where Mets orange body paint is a good tan and “The Situation” is code for cleaning up after Sandy The Seagull.

I can’t imagine how much it would cost to see Carlos Beltran in a Mets uniform at Citi Field from the ninth row behind third base. More bailout bucks than I’m willing to part with, I’m sure. To see him in his rehab appearance with the Cyclones? Fifteen U.S. dollars.

As the Cyclones designated hitter, Beltran drove in a run in his first at-bat and drew a walk later in the game.

Too bad his temporary team is doing their best impression of its big league parent – the 4-2 loss to the Hudson Valley Renegades (whose stadium is at a commuter parking lot a mile away from the commuter train station, true story) puts them half a game behind the Staten Island Yankees, who won their game last night in St. George. If nothing else, at least the Cyclones have already clinched a wild-card playoff spot.

According to the Brooklyn Cyclones web site, Carlos Beltran is scheduled to make an appearance in a Cyclones uniform tomorrow, September 2.

Mets centerfielder Carlos Beltran was examined by Mets Medical Director Dr. David Altchek at the Hospital for Special Surgery in Manhattan on Monday. Beltran has been cleared to begin a rehab assignment playing without his knee brace. He is scheduled to play this Wednesday night in Brooklyn with the Cyclones when they host Hudson Valley at KeySpan Park.

Suh-weet! The Cyclones currently hold a half-game lead over the Staten Island Yankees in the race for the McNamara division penant – though the loser of the division does hold a comfortable five-game lead for the wild-card playoff berth with only six games to go.

Last Saturday evening, I headed down to Brooklyn Union Gas Stadium to watch the Cyclones game. That evening’s game was against the Oneonta Tigers. Oneonta: for the Google-map impaired, that is a town in Upstate New York, along I-88, roughly halfway between Binghampton and Albany.

What’s that, you say? It isn’t called Brooklyn Union Gas Staudium? Well, pah. I can’t keep track of all of the name changes of our preeminent natural gas utility company. Apparently, neither can stadium officials, since they still have the old name of the company plastered on the side of the ballpark. I’m going with Brooklyn Union Gas Staudium until it gets old – and then probably a little longer.

I’m not so crazy about the bleacher seats, but just about every other seat in the house is a great seat. And the most expensive seats are $15 each… it’s really hard to go wrong.

The Race of the Condiments.

I GOT TWENTY BUCKS ON RELISH!!!!!  YEEEEAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!

I just commented on an article in the Brooklyn Paper about dipping attendance at Cyclones games this year, but it looks like a pretty good crowd to me (seen here waiting for t-shirts to fall out of the sky) (no, rlly). In addition to my ten smart-ass theories, here’s a real one: maybe attendance has been so good the first eight years of the franchise, that even a year that is merely amazingly above average is the worst in franchise history.

I’ve been to a number of in-stadium team stores across the Northeast – including three NHL arenas, two National League stadiums, two Division I-A football stadiums, and an NFL stadium. Granted – most of these were older buildings, but the Cyclones amazingly have the nicest team store of the bunch.

YO ADRIAN!!!!!!

It took the Cyclones nine innings to score their first and only run – at least they managed to force an extra inning, but ended up losing to the Tigers in the tenth, dropping their first-place record to 35-21.

Coney Island has fireworks on Friday nights in the summer, but the Cyclones gave this week a bonus round on Saturday. Compared to the Friday night version (which I visited two weeks ago), I thought this started off rather wimpy – and that’s what you see in this video. But after I shut the camera off, the display continued to crescendo, and most of the rest of the display was good and fun to watch.

By the way – what’s with Howard Dean 0:07?

I’m going to a Cyclones game this coming Saturday night! Weather permitting, of course. They’ll be playing against the Oneonta Tigers.

If you can tell the class where Oneonta is – WITHOUT GOOGLE MAPPING IT, YOUNG MAN – well, then, you know your New York-Penn League geography better than I.

Zeke Faux of the Brooklyn Paper writes that the Clones, despite their first-place record, “are drawing the smallest crowds in their nine-year history.” The initial theories broached by the article: the poor economy and the excessively rainy July. But those are quickly shot down:

But across the Verrazano, where the weather was similarly miserable and 15 dates were scheduled for July, the second-place Staten Island Yankees are on pace to shatter their all-time record, with average attendance up 20 percent from last season.

Why are Brooklynites getting shown up by the S’islanders? I have a few theories of my own.

1. A nine-year push by the Lions Eye Institute has given old-time Brooklynites the gift of sight… and they just figured out that these aren’t the Dodgers
2. Gamegoers sidetracked by Coffee Coolattas in the subway terminal’s new Dunkin Donuts
3. Fans were on their way to the game, but lost their tickets to a carny who offered to “run a tab” for them
4. After nine years, Brooklynites realized they’d rather be on that beach thing that’s just on the other side of the bleachers
5. Keyspan Park must be demolished to make room for National Grid Field
6. Cyclones unpopular decision to impose a Personal Seat License fee of two six-dollar hot dogs put games out of reach of the everyman
7. Fans want to see races between Guy In Mustard Suit versus Guy In Ketchup Suit replaced with cage deathmatch between Sandy The Seagull and Batavia Muckdogs mascot “Homer”
8. Promotional giveaway at Heroin Chic Hipster Night led to fatal overdose of 500 season ticket holders
9. After nine years, the novelty of living out Bull Durham with the Mets future scrubs has slowly given way the disco bowling scene at Melody Lanes
10. Brooklyn’s biggest sports celebrity eats hot dogs for a living

As Brooklyn’s biggest sports celebrity should.