(photo: iStockPhoto)

This is an older news item, but I wanted to put in my two cents, because of The Very Special Place In My Heart™ that belongs to trademark lawyers. (Spoiler alert: I hate trademark lawyers.) (Hates them, precious, yes, we hates them!)

The Brooklyn Paper sez:

Bay Ridge’s beloved Southern Comfort — a rock band best known for its versions of Southern-fried classics by Lynyrd Skynyrd, the Allman Brothers, and the Outlaws — has been ordered to shelve its moniker by the makers of a frat-house booze that owns the copyright.

I have a theory about trademark lawyers. I think that trademark lawyers were young, Machiavellian hot shots that fancied themselves after Tom Cruise in The Firm (or Tom Cruise in anything, really). And then realized those kinds of jobs required (a) an Ivy law degree, (b) a family connection, and (c) the sale of one’s soul to the slime of the world (wait, that one probably wasn’t the deal-breaker), and they got stuck lawyering trademarks to pay off their student loans.

Courts have upheld the rights of copyright owners in cases when other businesses’ use of the same name confuses the public, so [Southern Comfort™ Brand liqueur's] legal argument is fairly routine.

I have another theory about trademark lawyers. They’re underworked. Oh, if you ask one, they will vehemently disagree, but they only feel busy because they invent so much work for themselves. There aren’t enough legitimate trademark issues or infringements to make up a full time job, so to pass the time, they suck the life out of the spirit of the law and pick stupid fights over non-existent infringements. Like this one.

“The Southern Comfort brand has a strong connection with music, and the public associates the Southern Comfort brand and its products with music,” lawyer Jill Jacobs said in a Sept. 2 letter to the band’s guitarist, Eddie Sarkis.

Uh, no, it doesn’t.

“Your band members’ use of ‘Southern Comfort’ in your band’s name … is likely to cause the public to mistakenly believe that you are associated with, authorized by, or sponsored by Southern Comfort Properties when they are not.”

Uh, no. It won’t.

Seriously, Southern Comfort™ Brand liqueur. We know your alcohol makes us stupid, but it doesn’t make us thaaaat stupid.

The spirit of the law here is that another beverage company cannot make, say, a soda, and call it Southern Comfort. Nor can the sweatshops of Chinatown distill a cheap knockoff, put a Southern Comfort-looking label on it, and sell it on Canal Street. The idea that Southern Comfort™ Brand liqueur equals music is the construct of a bored trademark lawyer’s imagination. I hate trademark lawyers. I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate them.

(BK Southie expects to hear from Southern Comfort™ Brand liqueur’s trademark lawyers about this blog. Yeah, well. First Amendment’s a bitch, isn’t it, y’all?)

The Wyckoff House – a Dutch farmhouse that is the oldest existing building in New York City – held its annual Apple Festival on Sunday, September 20. Did you go? It was a lot of fun!

There was freshly-pressed apple cider. Not that pasteurized garbage they sell at Waldbaums. Certainly not the product that Starbucks refers to as “cider” that is actually commercially filtered apple juice. I’m talking about the good stuff.

There were also apple fritters. I’d call them homemade… but I haven’t seen a home that makes apple fritters like this!

And they certainly didn’t last long.

There was also a tent for making arts and crafts with apples. This bag turned into a carrying case for a digital camera… but it was pointed out it would be perfect to hold an Apple iPod.

There was also this cool jug band called Bill Carney’s Jug Addicts that performed at the festival. (Don’t know what a jug band is? Neither did I. God bless Wikipedia!) I thought these people looked like they could really rock out at The Mercury Lounge if you gave them some electric guitars and some synths. And I have it on good authority that the Bill Carney of Bill Carney’s Jug Addicts was also in a NYC-based faux-Francais power-pop rock band or something called Les Sans Culottes.

I totally bought their CD before I left. So if you see me on the N-train tomorrow bobbing my head and tapping my feet with my headphones in my ears… I could be bobbing and tapping to this cool jug band. (Or it could be Green Day. Or Metric. Or Bananarama. You can never tell with me, honestly.)

There are a couple of interesting events going on this weekend. First of all, there is the Great Irish Fair at Keyspan Park. Kerry told you about this last week (read about it here) – it’s $12 for individuals and $30 for families, Saturday and Sunday.

And then, on Sunday, September 20th, the Wyckoff Farmhouse Museum on Clarendon Road (Google Map) is having their annual Apple Festival from noon to 4pm. Dude, they have apple fritters and fresh pressed apple cider. How awesome is that?

Know of any other events in southern Brooklyn this weekend? Add them to the comments!

(Photo: Wyckoff House & Association)

Marty Golden will host a memorial ceremony reflecting the World Trade Center disaster on Friday, September 11, 2009 at Bay Ridge’s Veterans Memorial Pier (69th street pier) in Bay Ridge, at 8pm. There will be a reflection for prayer, a candle-lighting ceremony, and a 21-gun salute.  Bay Ridge’s own Xaverian High School Pipe band will also be at this event.

(photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/wallyg/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

• September 11 memorials: In Sheepshead Bay, Marine Park, Gerritsen Beach, Sunset Park, and Bay Ridge. (Sheepshead Bites, GerritsenBeach.net, Best View In Brooklyn, BK Southie)
• The Cherry Hill Market in the historic Lundy’s restaurant building has been open for realz since May. Last night, they finally had their official Grand Opening. (Sheepshead Bites)
• The Brooklyn Cyclones have been swept out of the playoffs. (Brooklyn Cyclones)
• Firefighters save two sleeping teens (and several birds) from a Bensonhurst house fire. (NY Daily News)
• A Hebrew charter school has opened inside of a yeshiva on Kings Highway (after dropping plans to move into the Marine Park Junior High School). (NY Post via Sheepshead Bites)
• The Dreamland Pier bell (actual 1900s era Dreamland, not Lola Starr’s Dreamland Roller Rink and certainly not Joe Sitt’s Rent-A-Dreamland), found under water last November, was raised last week and put on display at the Coney Island History Project (in front of the Cyclone roller coaster) last weekend. It will be on display again this Saturday and Sunday. (Kinetic Carnival with additional hat tip to CIHP’s and ATZ’s Tricia Vita)
• Governor Patterson has signed a bill, sponsored by Carl Kruger for the benefit of his Russophone constituents, requiring voting materials be printed in Russian. (WCAX)
• Residents of a Brighton Beach condominium complex are being terrorized by a BB gun shooter. (1010 WINS)

[Editor's note: Brooklyn - even just one half of it - is still a big place! Too big for just me to write about. So from time to time, BK Southie will be welcoming new writers. You've already seen a couple of posts from Peter, who day-blogs over at situatedlaundry. Today, please welcome Kerry, who will be writing predominately about the Bay Ridge/Dyker Heights neighborhoods.]

We all know Fall is quickly approaching when you hear the chatter going around about what you are being for Halloween… well in Bay Ridge the kick off to Halloween starts at the Raga-Muffin parade, when children and bands from all over the borough come to strut their most creative costumes. The Raga-Muffin parade this year falls on October 3rd, which means the 3rd Ave fair is October 4th!

Some closer events approaching us include The Wounded Warriors Benefit at the Leif Pub and The Great Irish Fair.

On Saturday, September 12th, 2:30pm till Midnight, come out to celebrate the Rockin For Our Troops event at The Leif Bar, 6725 5th Avenue.  This is a musical event to benefit the Wounded Warrior Project, The Metropolitan NYC USO, and Operation Gratitude. The day starts with a performance by a High School ROTC Drill Team, followed by some of the best music in Bay Ridge. Windsor Terrors, Canny Brothers, The Ridge, Pill Hill Radio, Our Back Pages, Prodigal Child, The Piranha Brothers.

Although in Coney Island, the Great Irish Fair brings a huge Bay Ridge crowd!  Join in on a bunch of Irish fun on  Saturday September 19th and Sunday September 20th at the Brooklyn Cyclone’s Keyspan Park in beautiful Coney Island for a two-day celebration of Irish heritage with great music, food, dancing, family activities and all around good craic.  Make sure to stop by Bay Ridge’s very own Yellow Hook’s tent.  You will catch the best of bagpipes, bands and beer galore!

Today is the first day of school in NYC. Which means, among other things, I do not have the time to write anything particularly useful, interesting, or witty. See you tomorrow, folks!

P.S. To the braniac in the West Wing who scheduled President Obama’s speech to school children yesterday - the day before the largest school system in the country opened it’s doors – you get detention.

Judge Jeanine Pirro – remember Jeanine Pirro? She was the Republican candidate for NY Attorney General in 2006, in an election cycle that leaned so hard to the left that even known lawbreaker and impeachment trial-bait Alan Hevesi won in a landslide. Anyway, she lost (not to Hevesi – that would just be sad), and now she’s playing Judge Wapner on Channel 5.

Her show starts its second season today, and former Coney Island sideshow operator John Strong is first in the on-deck circle. (Strong ran the departed Strangest Show On Earth at the Joe Sitt rent-a-carnival, and was not associated with the Dick Zigun founded-Sideshows By The Seashore which remains on West 12th Street – y’know, just in case you were wondering.) This is the case of the nationally renown five-legged dog that was auctioned off to someone in North Carolina to keep it out of Strong’s freak show. The puppy has had its extra leg removed and will stay in its Tar Heel home, but Strong has sued for monetary damages for wrongful reneging or something.

You can watch it on Judge Jeanine Pirro today at 4pm on Fox 5. (Or you can read the spoiler from the Daily News here.)

It’s Labor Day Weekend! I leave you one more beach picture of my awesome staycation. Of course, you know I’ll be at the beach one more time this weekend – the last weekend city beaches are open. Officially. Of course, people have been known to go into the water after-hours when lifeguards aren’t on duty, and on occasion, the Parks police have been known to issue tickets for it. (YourNabe.com)

Police have arrested three men in connection with the shooting murder of two people in Sunset Park. (Best View In Brooklyn)

An important announcement from Amusing The Zillion: CONEY ISLAND IS OPEN THIS WEEKEND (RLLY). Anyone who doesn’t understand why it is open after they heard it had closed in 2007 in 2008 in August should keep in mind that the first time that Coney was declared dead was in 1964 when Steeplechase closed. (Amusing The Zillion)

BK Southie contributor Peter pays a visit to The Feast. (situatedlaundry)

A two-year old walrus at the aquarium in Coney Island – one of only a few born in captivity – died this week of pneumonia. (Newsday)

Bay Ridge and area steps up for the 18 families that lost their homes in a July fire on Third Avenue. (Brooklyn Daily Eagle, with additional hat tip to the Bay Ridge Blog)

The Feast on 18th Avenue was into its eighth day last night, and its still going strong. You’ve got three more chances to get your fill of braciole and zeppole and Italia t-shirts – the Santa Rosalia festival runs through Sunday, September 6.

According to the event’s promotional flyer: a “solemn procession” begins on Sunday at 2pm at 72nd Street, and by that, I mean if your Italian is better than Google’s, please feel free to chime in.